Um, What?
by Kayzo
Summary: Sam keeps insisting his name is Dean, Dean keeps cursing witches, and Cas doesn't have a soul. pointless humor.


Dean wakes with a splitting headache. They had been up against a witch, and that's the last thing he can remember. Goddamn, does he hate witches.

Dean gets up quickly, dusting himself off and checking for his knife and gun. His knife's still in its sheath, in his belt, and his gun's only half a foot away. Grabbing it and shoving it in the back of his pants to hide it from sight, Dean looks around. He's in an alley, and it's not the one he was in before. Its night, wherever the hell he is, and it had been mid-morning last he remembered.

He walks out of the alleyway briskly, looking around for Sam or Cas, because both had been with him before, and having neither with him now did nothing for his over active imagination.

Dean looks around again and then sees Sam, in a gazebo in the middle of a little grassy area. For some place that a witch sent him, it looks really upscale white living.

"Sam!" Dean calls, crossing the rather empty street, jogging a little to make it quicker. Sam's with some girl that Dean doesn't recognize, and he doesn't turn when Dean called, and that's Dean's first clue that Something-Is-Not-Right.

Dean scowls and hops the steps up into the gazebo, and Sam and the girl turn. Oh god, Sam was wearing that expression he always wore when he was talking about _feelings_. Who the hell _is_ this girl?

"Sam." Dean ignores her for the moment in favor of looking at his brother, and is shocked to find that since he had last seen him, Sam had become a younger version of himself. 18 maybe 19, and looking at Dean like he was crazy.

"Oh Sammy, what did they do to you?" Dean laments, looking him up and down for any obvious injury.

"…I think you have the wrong guy." Sam gives a sideways glance to the girl next to him, "I'm Dean. I don't know anyone named Sam."

"Oh God. You think you're me." That would explain the girl then, but Dean still thinks that Sammy hasn't gotten past second with her.

"What?" Sammy gives Dean a bitch face.

"I have to go, Dean," the girl interjects, giving Dean a weird look before fully addressing Sam, "Dinner at the grandparents tonight"

"Yeah… we—we'll talk later." Sam watches her go, and once she's out of sight (with a little awkward wave, he turns back to Dean.

"Come on Sammy, let's go to Bobby's, he'll have some idea on how to fix this."

"Seriously, I don't know who the hell you are." Sam broods, "and my name's not Sam. It's Dean" He shoves his hands in the pockets of a sweatshirt, and since when has he worn sweatshirts?

"Yeah, whatever, let's just get going." Dean turns, "I can't wait to find the bitch who did this and rip her a new one." It's when Dean's a good ten feet from the gazebo that he realizes Sam hasn't moved, "Come on man, I want to get there before the apocalypse"

"Who the hell _are_ you?"

Dean rolls his eyes, "Dean. You're brother. And you're Sam. And we're trying to stop the apocalypse, but you got yourself fucked up by some witch's spell and now we have to drive back to Bobby's." Dean has had enough of this. He walks back and grabs Sam's arm, "Come on Pinocchio, let's go turn you into a real boy."

"Stop it!" Sam struggles, but he's lost his muscle along with his age, and Dean's hand on him doesn't even shift, "You're crazy, I'm not _Sam_! Let me _go!_" But Dean doesn't hear him because the worst is realized.

"Oh shit, where's the Impala?"

"No. You are Dean. I'm your brother Sam. We were attacked by witches, they much have got you, don't worry though, we're gonna go to Bobby's and-"

Dean's head whips around and there's Sam. His Sam. With his dorky hair and long legs and right age and everything. And next to him is a young Dean. And if that's not creepy…

"See? _Not _Sam." The brother's ignore him.

"Sam?" Dean asks

"Dean."

"Castiel!" All four turn and there's Castiel, done up in his holy tax accountant get up.

"Forgive me." And now there's another Castiel, who looks exactly the same and is giving the other Castiel a glare, "It would seem that this version of myself has no soul."

"Version of your"-Dean cuts himself off-"_no soul?_"

"Correct." They're all silent for a moment, and Cas feels efficiently prompted to continue, "he likes to lick things"

* * *

><p>I always found it funny that Jared played Dean from <em>Gilmore Girls<em> and then ended up being Dean's brother in Supernatural, and this kind of sprung from that, along with influance from soulless!Cas. and Soulless!Cas is not my idea; if you haven't read the amusing as all hell comics that feature this loveable little angel with no soul, search for it on Deviantart or tumblr and have yourself a laugh

just a little meaningless humor to amuse myself, I hope it brought you a laugh as well :)


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